Inconsistency

I have let this blog become a wasted space on the internet. A chasm of emptiness - sure, there are shards of joy sprinkled into it - but I can clearly hear the crickets chirping here.

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That has not what life has been like for me since I created this space. My life has been bustling, warp-speed changes with roller-coaster highs and lows. It's been great, though.

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We moved to the Mid-Atlantic four years and one month ago. For our children, it's the longest they've lived consecutively in any state - and the longest time we've been in a single parish as a couple. The community here is blessed and we are blessed and so very grateful to be part of it.

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Four years ago, my plan was to do my best to serve the community in whatever way I could, making friends and building a short-term life for us here. Short-term because we'd moved so many times - and we assumed that it would continue to be the case. But my plan was to embrace the people and the area for the time that we would be here. And I have.

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When we were busy with the day-to-day, planting ourselves into our parish and community, I fell in love. Not with a person or the region, though I have fallen in love with our people here and really enjoy this region, but I have fallen in love in a new way with God. I wonder if this new love is because I have begun to realize that to better love God, I must live His command to love my neighbor? I find it no small coincidence that the more love I have for others, the closer I feel to my Father and Lord.

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I realize how He has tried for years to reveal Himself to me in a profound way - a way that would cause me to tip back and say "Wow!" The past few weeks have me saying "Wow!" a lot. Not because of material blessings, though to be on the cusp of buying "the house" is a pretty big "wow" for us, but because we have felt strongly rooted here and really didn't want to lose this community of saints-in-the-making. I won't worry about the times I've missed those moments in the past when God was inviting me to see His awesome power and His abiding love for me, but instead I embrace the now and future moments.

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We have come through an incredibly trying time, with a great loss and job uncertainty and instability. To be on the other side of what was a stressful time, I can see how my trust in the Lord's providence kept at bay most of the deepest lows. I can't say those around me were unscathed, as I still struggle with my sharp tongue at times, but I trusted that the Lord's plan was greater than any we could come up with on our own.

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I'd like to break this open a bit, but for now, I need to read a couple chapters out of a textbook in order to have a class discussion this afternoon with my daughter.

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Lord, please touch those in my heart and mind this day. Please give comfort and a peace that surpasses all human understanding to those in need, especially those who are dying this day. May Your love and mercy be a sign to all that Truth is worth living and fighting for. I ask all these things through the Precious Sacrifice and His willing and obedient Sacred Heart, Amen.