Victory of Love

"These holy days reawaken a great hope in us. Christ was crucified, yet he rose again and conquered the world... Love is stronger than hate, it has triumphed and we should affiliate ourselves with this victory of love. We should therefore start again from Christ and work together with him for a world founded on peace, justice and love." -Pope Benedict XVI on the Easter Triduum.

The past month or so, I've been trying to read through a book on healing by Francis MacNutt. It's difficult to read because I need quiet in order to concentrate - and in a house with two active girls, quiet is hard to come by. But what I've read has been great. Nothing new so far, since I was already a believer in healing prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit. But I haven't gotten into the meaty chapters yet and I know this book is a classic in its subject.

Yesterday, I picked up unbound and began reading that as well. As I was reading the foreword (not-so-coincidentally written by Francis MacNutt, I might point out), it occurred to me to pray while reading these books. To pray for protection against any attack brought on by my desire for increased knowledge and faith - and ministry. So, I stopped reading and took a moment to say a prayer to Jesus to protect my heart and my mind from all evil and lead me in my quest for knowledge. And for good measure, I asked St. Michael to provide his heavenly protection against any evil spirits that might be sent to interrupt my quest.



It was funny, not funny "haha" but funny interesting, to realize after the brief time I spent with the book after that prayer how much more I got out of that time than when I was trying to get through parts of the first book before. (was that a long and ridiculous sentence or what?) I can't help but think it was the prayers. I had as many, if not more, distractions than when I've tried to get into Healing, but I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd read. Even after ten PM last night, I continued to turn it over and over in my mind.



I don't really know why I'm writing about reading these books, except to say that I wonder if God wants something more from me in this area? Are there things I need to heal in my own past that I really thought I'd moved past? Does He want me to heal those things in order that I can serve His people in a more intimate way? I do know that I felt real grace upon my head a couple weeks ago when my husband and I were a prayer team at a retreat-like day. Is this where God wants me to follow Him?



I don't know all the answers yet, but I have to say that this Lent has brought me more intimately close to the Lord than I've felt in a number of years. I want to listen to Him all the time, but I really feel like I've been hearing Him, these past few weeks especially. I think when I became a mother, I replaced some of my thirst for closeness with God with a thirst for closeness with my kids. And now that I've realized that, I can allow Christ the space in my life that He's wanted all along.



Have a blessed Triduum.