Second Friday of Lent: Running to the Father

If you have children, imagine this: (I'd tell you to close your eyes and picture it, but if you close your eyes, you can't read what I'm about to type.) Think of little children... I don't know if this happens or happened in your home, but even at 9 1/2 and 8, my girls still behave this way... Think of the late afternoon time, early evening, there's anticipation and waiting and an underlying excitement - Daddy's coming home! "Has he called yet? How much longer?" Glances out the windows, looking for his car. Finally, they scatter and get involved in reading a book or practicing piano or coloring.

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But when footsteps are heard on the porch and the scrape of the key enters the lock - maybe the distraction keeps them other-focused until the door opens, but then! They run! They squeal, "Daddy's home!" And they throw themselves at him, eager for his embrace and attention...

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Maybe they're younger, still a baby, and Daddy's on the other side of a room, talking or singing. And her eyes are on him, watching, smiling, filled with joy to see her Daddy...

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Sitting on the floor, on his legs, chubby little arms holding his forearms while he reads a book or sings a song with her... she relaxes back against him, completely safe, completely adored and in complete adoration! Daddy is the best!

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This is how the Lord wants us to anticipate being with Him. This is how He wants us to come to Him. That we would let go of anything that's blocking us from experiencing this childlike joy in just being with Him.

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I find it interesting and such an amazing grace that the Lord reveals Himself to me in the quiet. One of the things I've realized in the past week, is that while I appreciate all that the Lord has done for me, and I am so so grateful for His love and mercy, I haven't experienced that kind of joy in Him. Whether it is because my own father let me down in some ways or made me feel less than in others, or maybe it's some other reason I'm blocked, I realized that there is so much more for me to experience with the Lord.

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And one of the things I'm most looking forward for the rest of this incredible season of Lent is learning to let things go that prevent my heart from running to the Lord in joy and unfettered love. I want to sit at His feet and rest my head in His lap and just revel in the love of a perfect Father.

Ashes, Ashes, we all fall Down!

Ash Wednesday, 2010. The Lord wants so much for us to turn to Him in bigger ways - and He uses the season of Lent to pull us closer to Him in many smaller ways.

This morning, as I prayed, I was called with great conviction to serve Him in a new way. He wants me to be consistent in a way that I haven't before - to use all of my words more carefully, especially. This could mean a lot of things, but for me it was two-fold.

First, He wants me to carefully speak with my children. When they interrupt, He wants me to gently redirect them to do the right thing, rather than snap out "try that again". He wants me to express myself with sweetness and love, as He does with us. In other words, He is asking me to let go of my tendency toward sharpness.

And I gotta be honest, my knee-jerk reaction is to say "Lord, I can't do that! I always try hard! Those behaviors are just part of who I am." And guess what? He whispered sweetly to me, "Let ME be the change inside of you. I can do all things." Okay, so I didn't hear a 'voice' inside my head, or even outside my head - but I did feel strongly that the Lord wants me not only to KNOW this truth, but to completely embrace it. No, I can't eliminate my tendency toward sharp, but HE can! What an awesome God!

Second, He wants me to evangelize in a new way. I don't know if it's His plan that it be through this internet space, but I know He is calling me loudly to share His truth and love. I am not an expert, I have no special training, but I do know the transforming power of His love and mercy and I think I can at least try better to share it with others.

So, this Ash Wednesday, my hope is that I spend the next 40 days, truly resting at the feet of Jesus. I know if I do this more and more, I will better understand His will for me. And I want to do it. I want to be the child He created me to be and I want nothing more than to be close to the One who made me. And it'd be amazing if He used me to help my family and friends get there too.

God bless you and keep you!

To Yankee Stadium! We're going to see the Pope!!!!

Sometimes, when I am excited, I have a hard time falling asleep. I'm a bit like a child, I suppose. This morning, I have risen at about 4 am, after getting less than 6 hours of slumber - and now I must pack our breakfast and supper and shower to get ready to head to New York City for the day. We have been looking forward to this day for weeks, since we got word that we won the lottery. The ticket lottery, so we will be blessed to celebrate mass with Pope Benedict XVI this afternoon at Yankee Stadium.

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I am so amazed at how God has blessed us since we came to this part of the country. We knew He wanted us here, and it is pretty cool that we get to experience this once-in-a-lifetime event. I'm bringing a little notebook, so maybe I'll take a few moments throughout the day to record my immediate thoughts and feelings and come back here and share them with you tomorrow.

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I'll pray for you today - and your intentions.

Evangelization at Home

What would happen if you died tomorrow? Would your kids have comfort in God? Would they find some peace in knowing He would care for them one way or another through their loss? Would your children know what you believed? Would they have hope?

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These are hard questions - who wants to think of their own mortality, let alone the possibility of leaving their children behind at young ages? But it is our duty as parents to answer these questions - to live our lives in a way that gives our children everything they might need in our absence. They won't be children very long - let's face it, adulthood encompasses many more years than childhood. What are we doing with our children to ensure their faith is strong, that they have a secure knowledge of God's grace and mercy and love?

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This might seem like a silly notion to some who will read this. "We go to church every Sunday and even on Wednesday nights!" "We say grace before every meal." "Our family prays at bedtime."... "OF COURSE, our children know of God's goodness!" But I challenge you to really delve deeply into your lives to see how you demonstrate God's grace and mercy and love to your children. How do you react in anger? Do you intimately share your heart with your children? Do you share how God has made your life better? How His Son's sacrifice has changed your own heart and the way you conduct your life?

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I'm interested in hearing what you do to help your children KNOW the grace and glory and limitless love from our Father. How do you encourage their own personal relationship with Christ? And then I'll tell you why I think it's so important to have this be the central focus of your home and family.

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God Bless you and Happy Easter!

Victory of Love

"These holy days reawaken a great hope in us. Christ was crucified, yet he rose again and conquered the world... Love is stronger than hate, it has triumphed and we should affiliate ourselves with this victory of love. We should therefore start again from Christ and work together with him for a world founded on peace, justice and love." -Pope Benedict XVI on the Easter Triduum.

The past month or so, I've been trying to read through a book on healing by Francis MacNutt. It's difficult to read because I need quiet in order to concentrate - and in a house with two active girls, quiet is hard to come by. But what I've read has been great. Nothing new so far, since I was already a believer in healing prayer and the power of the Holy Spirit. But I haven't gotten into the meaty chapters yet and I know this book is a classic in its subject.

Yesterday, I picked up unbound and began reading that as well. As I was reading the foreword (not-so-coincidentally written by Francis MacNutt, I might point out), it occurred to me to pray while reading these books. To pray for protection against any attack brought on by my desire for increased knowledge and faith - and ministry. So, I stopped reading and took a moment to say a prayer to Jesus to protect my heart and my mind from all evil and lead me in my quest for knowledge. And for good measure, I asked St. Michael to provide his heavenly protection against any evil spirits that might be sent to interrupt my quest.



It was funny, not funny "haha" but funny interesting, to realize after the brief time I spent with the book after that prayer how much more I got out of that time than when I was trying to get through parts of the first book before. (was that a long and ridiculous sentence or what?) I can't help but think it was the prayers. I had as many, if not more, distractions than when I've tried to get into Healing, but I couldn't stop thinking about what I'd read. Even after ten PM last night, I continued to turn it over and over in my mind.



I don't really know why I'm writing about reading these books, except to say that I wonder if God wants something more from me in this area? Are there things I need to heal in my own past that I really thought I'd moved past? Does He want me to heal those things in order that I can serve His people in a more intimate way? I do know that I felt real grace upon my head a couple weeks ago when my husband and I were a prayer team at a retreat-like day. Is this where God wants me to follow Him?



I don't know all the answers yet, but I have to say that this Lent has brought me more intimately close to the Lord than I've felt in a number of years. I want to listen to Him all the time, but I really feel like I've been hearing Him, these past few weeks especially. I think when I became a mother, I replaced some of my thirst for closeness with God with a thirst for closeness with my kids. And now that I've realized that, I can allow Christ the space in my life that He's wanted all along.



Have a blessed Triduum.